When Your Family Is Toxic

Toxic
toxic

Are you somebody that believes your family is out to get you in some way or another? I know that feeling very well. For some reason I just happened to be one of those that belongs to such a family. A very toxic family.

It all started when my parents decided to divorce. In those days it was not socially accepted. It was a label put upon me. What was a label turned into a scar. My father was a good man, but my mother that was a different story. He was in the navy and was out to sea a lot.

My father was the third father to get custody of his children. Four kids two boys and two girls. He had his hands full and didn’t have a clue what to due. It would be a journey he was not ready for. I was the youngest of the bunch. My sister was the oldest then my brother and then my other sister.

Poor man had his hands full without any instructions to go along with parenting task. He did good for the circumstances he was dealt. Being in the service and raising four kids wasn’t going to be easy.

All the man wanted was to be happy plus make his family happy! What a journey it would be. It was the sixties and many things seemed uncertain. I think the sixties were a lot like the roaring twenties except  super charged.

No one in the family including me felt normal about are family life. Which was totally destroyed . But then again the sixties were far from normal .According to most people of that time divorce was taboo. At that time no one was ever even thinking about divorce. People just toughed it up and made the best of things. Things were so much different then.

On my sixteenth birthday a friend of mine came by to wish me happy birthday. We started to celebrate the best way we could. Which was smoking an illegal substance at the time. I turned on the air for air exchange to help with getting the odor out of the house. Which never worked. My father and his lady, who became my step mother, came home and set a panic throughout the house. My father said I got you a birthday present. A new mom!

My step mother became a great friend of mine. She was the mother I always wanted after all the mayhem. For years she was a figure I admired because of the person she was.

Fast forward and cancer would take her from us. My father was at a lost. She had made him whole and made him feel worthy of life. It really hurt him when she passed.

Unknown to my knowledge my sister had talked him into making her power of attorney. Making her the main decision maker. First his keys were taken from him and that seemed to make him helpless. No trips to the grocery store or any where else.

I was visiting and I asked my sister why she would not take him to the store or any where else. To my surprise she told me she  that he always was wearing his sweat pants. The thoughts that ran through my head were not very nice.

After my father passed she was in charge of everything. She is not capable of communicating. So all her siblings had no clue of what was going on.

So my advice to all is cherish your family and stay up to date with everything! In the long run the sad part is I miss my dad so much and I wish I would of done more!!!

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